Non-attachment and a little more peace

I find one key in holding people (my damn self for sure) back from making positive changes or simply gaining peace of mind are their attachments. Attachments to people, ideas, outcomes, circumstances and things. I’m not talking about commitment, which attachment often gets confused with. I’m talking about when something outside of ourselves has a direct influence on our sense of self-worth and emotions, because we’ve attached it to our identity.

For example, you can attach your sense of self-worth and happiness to a grade, weight, how nice your hair looks, how many likes you get on social media, income, even how so and so treats you or acts today. But sometimes these attachments go even deeper like attaching your ability to change to someone else’s, and attaching limiting thoughts on a circumstance like “I can’t get better until ____”. When they fail us or we fail to control them we carry negative emotions of inadequacy, insecurity, fear and disappointment. We falsely believe or want to believe those things are what give us security and satisfaction in life, when in actuality it limits us from self-growth and attaining inner peace.

This is where we can practice the act of non-attachment, not detachment (basically disregarding and shutting yourself off from reality), but non-attachment. Essentially implying you engage, appreciate and simultaneously accept the uncertainty of life outside yourself. You can admire without need to own, you can engage without taking things personally and you can love yourself without obligation to be, do or have something. It is understanding you are whole as is and no longer need to attach yourself to things in order to feel complete. A little more peace.

So what attachments are holding you back ?

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  1. Kind Stranger says:

    Puns are allowed I hear? Good good. I’ll hide a few in here.

    What a lovely post, its really contributed to my love of philosophy (if you directly translate philosophy and re read this, there is a massive grammatical debacle here). The big thing to take away here is applying modularity to life. All modularity means is having a state of mind that is modular – easily re configurable. I don’t mean re learning addition, converting to a new language, and then making your own esoteric clothing line, but more along the lines of being able to adapt to the unpredictability of life. Life is like a tree: can grow anywhere in so many different circumstances such as being leaf-ed alone or being knotted into a highway, they can even branch out if necessary, however basic needs still need to be met. Applying that to us humans (we also get equally as board as trees at times) we should be prepared to adapt to any situation (within reasonable means).

    I hope this contreebutes something useful, and a common attachment of mine is grades. I know they’re just numbers, I know in the grand scheme of things I’m just a number (right now I’m kind stranger, though). Also anxiety, I’m still debating whether it’s attached to me or I’m attached to it.

    Best wishes 🙂

    1. viczaremba says:

      <3 You have some really good points. Non-attachment has a lot to do with adaptability. It's an understanding you are not defined by the circumstance you are non-attached too, it doesn't mean you you don't use your resources practically and completely disregard a situation. It's more let me use them and makes choices you feel right with in the moment, while not being defined by the situation, person or even feeling. Life is unpredictable, its easier to adapt when you accept that and stop attaching yourself to certain outcomes or should be's.

      As for anxiety,a person has/feels anxiety but essentially they are not anxiety. Practicing non-attachment is not a cure, but it can be used as a tool to recognize where one may hold triggers and begin finding peace with it.

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