I find one key in holding people (my damn self for sure) back from making positive changes or simply gaining peace of mind are their attachments. Attachments to people, ideas, outcomes, circumstances and things. I’m not talking about commitment, which attachment often gets confused with. I’m talking about when something outside of ourselves has a direct influence on our sense of self-worth and emotions, because we’ve attached it to our identity.
For example, you can attach your sense of self-worth and happiness to a grade, weight, how nice your hair looks, how many likes you get on social media, income, even how so and so treats you or acts today. But sometimes these attachments go even deeper like attaching your ability to change to someone else’s, and attaching limiting thoughts on a circumstance like “I can’t get better until ____”. When they fail us or we fail to control them we carry negative emotions of inadequacy, insecurity, fear and disappointment. We falsely believe or want to believe those things are what give us security and satisfaction in life, when in actuality it limits us from self-growth and attaining inner peace.
This is where we can practice the act of non-attachment, not detachment (basically disregarding and shutting yourself off from reality), but non-attachment. Essentially implying you engage, appreciate and simultaneously accept the uncertainty of life outside yourself. You can admire without need to own, you can engage without taking things personally and you can love yourself without obligation to be, do or have something. It is understanding you are whole as is and no longer need to attach yourself to things in order to feel complete. A little more peace.
So what attachments are holding you back ?